They Think I'm Unattractive Because of My Natural Hair

I have a group of three women that I'am best friends with. We have been friends for 5+ years. One woman is relaxed and wears short styled pixie cuts, another always wears weaves (real hair isn't even past shoulder length), and the third is natural (with "good" textured hair). The two relaxed girls alwayssss pick on me and my natural friend. Apparently they have issues with us because we don't have bone straight hair or frequent the hair salon like them. They are slightly rougher on me because my hair is a lot more coarser than our natural friend. I have 4b hair and my natural friend has 3c/4a hair. At one point during our friendship, about 3 years ago, I was going through a breakup and decided to go natural. They tore into me (the two relaxed ladies). They told me I looked like sh*t, and I needed to get a relaxer. I was told I'd never be able to get a man, and that I was dumb for letting myself go after the breakup. I eventually ended up texlaxing my hair to help with manageability, but my real hair is always in a bun/protective style 100% of the time anyway. They also thought my texlaxed hair was nappy, but I didn't give a damn.

Fast forward to Christmas of this year...Somehow we got into it about hair. My natural haired friend straightened her hair for the holidays and the relaxed girls were LOVING it. I chimed in and told my natural haired friend that straight hair was cool, but her natural hair was also beautiful. The other two turned on me. They told me to be quiet with my brillo pad hair. They also told me to stop being cheap and to treat my hair once in a while because my hair is my beauty. I told them that there is more to me than just my hair, and they got a kick out of that. The argument got heated and one relaxed haired girl said her short hair would look way better than mine no matter how long my hair was because I'm too cheap to get my hair done. In reality, I'm not cheap and I choose to do my own hair (which never looks bone straight like theirs). The same relaxed girl also told me that she could mop the floor with my "nappy" hair.

At this point I'm over this group of friends (with the exception of the natural one). They are so judgmental and critical of everything in relation to my appearance/relationships/financial situation. I do have a boyfriend now, and I do wear a natural puff at times (he hasn't left me yet.. lol). I think these ladies are toxic and I'm tired of being the butt of jokes about "nappy" hair. I'm a grown woman in her upper 20's, I should be able to rock whatever I want without being ostracized for it. I know friends are supposed to keep things all the way real with you, but my "nappy" hair is the real me....I can't change that (God played a part in that one). Am I taking things personal? Are friends supposed to tell you your hair is too "nappy"? I'm about ready to kick these friends to the curb for 2015 am I being dramatic? I don't believe real friends are supposed to make you feel crappy and bully you just because you don't look like them.  If you look back into my past posts you will see that I referred to these friends as my frienemies. I'm tired of having friends that secretly hate me and go for my juggular whenever they get the chance. With friends like them who needs enemies....damn. The bottom line is that ALL natural hair is beautiful, its sad that they don't see that.

Holiday Outfit Ideas (Featuring The Skater Skirt)

Recently I had purchased a Skater Skirt, but unfortunately I'd purchased it in the fall. I wanted to rock my Skater Skirt for the Holiday Season, but there were barely any tutorials/videos showing how I could wear them (and still be semi warm) during the colder season. I decided to come up with a few ideas on how I could make the Skater Skirt functional in the Winter. The skater skirt can be found almost anywhere online, and right now they are SUPER cheap. Not sure if they are going out of style, but ummmmm this frugal girl is taking full advantage by stocking up. 

The skater skirt is cheap, comfortable to wear, and very versatile when it comes to styling. This particular piece can be dressed up or down. You can throw on a cardigan over one in the Winter (and still be sexy) or wear a crop top with it in the summer. This is one trend that I hope sticks around after  the New Year rolls around. You can find the skater skirt through Macys, Forever 21, Charlotte Russe, or even Nastygal.com (for sure). I got my particular skirt from a store in NY called Rainbow. The skirt below is cayute because it features a zipper down the backside (I'm a sucker for shiny things).

On my youtube page I actually threw together a video for the purpose of styling the skater skirt during the Holidays. Down below I'll talk about what I came up with.

This first look uses the classic button up as a way to make this look a bit more age appropriate (for me anyway). I'm an older woman and the skirt kind of "screams" teenager but incorporating the use of my button up along with my chunky necklace makes the look classy. 

I'd like to call this second look the "catholic school girl" look. I went to catholic school growing up and I was obsessed with my knee highs! In the picture above I opted for knee highs, a chunky black ankle boot, and a lace body suit. This look is completely opposite from the first look and seems suitable for a night out with the girls or a significant other. 

This last look is a chill look. I would say that this combo is a more mature look. I chose a crop top sweater, along with a charm bracelet (which you can't really see here). I would wear stockings with this as well as a brown or red heel in order to break up the all black look. 

I had fun creating this blog and thumbs up if you want more blogs like this one. Lastly, which look was your favorite? Look 1, 2, or 3?

How To Deal With Super Dry Hair Using The L.O.C Method

So as a Texlaxed Lady I experience heavy periods of having dry, almost straw-like hair. The toughest thing about being texlaxed would have to be trying to achieve an acceptable moisture level. The things that I knew as my "staples" {when I was relaxed} got tossed aside real fast when I realized they were no longer effective.

Lately I have been tinkering with my moisturizing routine. Since being texlaxed I have been using the L.O.C method. The L.O.C method is a super helpful way to get your thirsty strands back to where they need to be. 

L.O.C stands for: 

L- Liquid/Leave-In

O- Oil

C-Cream 

In order for the LOC method to be effective you have to use the liquid, the oil, and lastly top everything off with a cream. The L.O.C method can also be done the L.C.O way (which is liquid, cream, and oil). The main idea is to maintain moisture at every step of the way. Some options to use for the LOC method are: 

Liquid- 

1. Water or.......

Some sort of water based moisturizer

2. Neutrogena's Triple Moisture Leave In

3. Cantu Shea Butter's Moisturizing Leave In Cream

Oil-

1. Jojoba Oil

2. Grape-seed Oil

3. Extra Virgin Olive Oil

4. Coconut Oil (Not my favorite to use in the Winter because it makes hair feel stiff. This works better if mixed with another oil during the colder months)

Cream

Any moisturizing cream, natural moisturizing butter, or leave-in conditioner

1. Natural whipped Shea butter

2. As Iam Double Butter Cream

3. Carol's Daughter Hair Milk

I just threw a couple ideas out there for some of you guys. I currently use the Cantu Shea Butter Leave In, Castor Oil, and Shea Butter Combo. If anything, definitely tinker with some ingredients to see what works for your hair. Any who, over and out ladies! Hope you found this helpful! Check out my old YouTube video link to see the products that I used to use. 

http://youtu.be/JvjFuEybNjc

The Versatility of Texlaxed Hair

Hey guys, as promised I'm back.This particular post is about Texlaxed hair and the current state of my hair at this moment.

So What In The World Is Texlaxed Hair? 

The common misconception about being texlaxed is the fact that people think you are no longer relaxed, but that my friends is wrong. 

• Having texlaxed hair does not mean that you are natural
• Being texlaxed means that your hair is still chemically processed, but for a shorter amount of time
• You can texlax your hair with a regular relaxer kit by adding conditioner or oil to the mix (this slows down the relaxers processing time)
• You can texlax your hair with a texture softner (this is the route that I chose)
• Being fully texlaxed happens over time....you need to gradually trim away at your bone straight relaxed ends (It took me two years to be fully texlaxed....I had several major cuts)
• The chemicals still break down your hair when you texlax, but not as much because the relaxer isn't left on for as long as a bone straight relaxer

Let me share something with those who are considering texlaxed hair. I initially decided to texlax because I was tired of having fine hair. I did the research and it seemed like the girls with the thickest (relaxed hair) were texlaxed ladies. So I went for the plunge. I thought using a texture softner would automatically give me wavy/curly hair, but THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! When you start texlaxing ONLY YOUR ROOTS/NEW GROWTH will be texlaxed. Your bone straight relaxed ends must be completely gone for you to be texlaxed, and that will take years if you don't do a big cut/trims.

People claim that texlaxed hair is not a type or that it is the same as relaxed hair. I guarantee you that relaxed hair is NOT texlaxed hair as far as the makeup of one's hair. 

• Texlaxed hair causes me to experience shrinkage
• My hair is no longer bone straight, unless I flat iron
• My edges no longer lay flat without the use of gel and a head scarf
• My hair is soooooooo much thicker than when I was fully relaxed

If you like bone straight hair....TEXLAXED HAIR IS NOT FOR YOU! (If I had known this info I probably wouldn't have texlaxed because I LOVE bone straight hair/freshly relaxed edges, but I'm glad I didn't).

Currently I am probably a little below shoulder length because I had a big chop in March. That cut left me fully texlaxed. Last weekend I did my first wash-n-go and a puff on my texlaxed hair, bone straight relaxed hair can't do that (my hair is a little past my shoulders when not in a puff, thanks to shrinkage). I hate to say texlaxed hair is similar to natural hair, but sometimes I do believe there are similarities in maintenance. Anyway I've gone on too much....To be continued!

Whyyyyyyy Blogger?!?!?!?

Alas, I am disappointed in blogger and the whole Picasso photo album nonsense! All of the posts that I've worked on for the past four years (plus) of blogging have been tampered with. My pictures don't show up with my posts and that saddens me. I wish blogger would have gotten it's life together before ruining my work. If you look back at my old posts pictures will be missing, but I won't delete the posts because of memories associated with the writing. I will be posting again, and I won't let this stop me. Hair posts, exercise posts, and life posts are coming right up. I hope you guys continue to rock with me.

My Birthday.Getting Closer To The Big 30!

Mannnn Hi Blogger Family. Its been a while since I've posted. I know, I'm no good. Well today is my birthday and I hit 28. Ugh its mind blowing even writing that number...but yep time flies. What do I expect of 28? Well first I'd like to be done with my Masters before the end of the year. Secondly I'd like a stable job in my career field please!?! Lastly, when it comes to love I just want the person I'm with to be on the same page as me. I'm no longer a teen, I can't date someone for 2-3 years at a time anymore....its not happening. I'm actually going to do a post on dating people for too long (for my older gals). Besides that....27 was a learning experience and very tough on me. Here's to better days ahead.