I'm Sick And Tired Of Being Sick And Tired

Hey Guys Sorry For My Hiatus...School Got Really Heavy After Spring Break So I Have Not Been Cranking Out The Blogs Like I Should Have Been (Which Is A Lousy Excuse Since I Have A Blogger App On My Phone) Anywhoooo.....I Hope All Is Well With Everybody, I Will Be Getting Around To Reading Some Of You Guys Blogs Soon.

Uh Sooo The Other Night I Went Out With A 3 Of My Co Worker Girlfriends To Applebee's And We Were Just Kicking It...Being Giggly And Loud (Ya Know The Regular Girls Stuff) But Then Somehow We Get Into The Topic Of My Ex. I Told Them We Still Spoke And We Were Kool And We Still Liked Each Other But He STILL Does Not Want To Be With Me. My Friends Were Disgusted....They Felt Like I Should Have Moved On Long Ago And That I Should Have Cut My Ex Out Because They Believe That He's Stopping Me From Moving On.

It Got Rough They Questioned Me Like: What Does He Do For You, How Does He Benefit You, And Why Do You Need Him?

And Honestly People I Was Embarassed Because I Could Only Give Them Two Reasons....I Had No Other Reasons Besides He Was Motivational, And He Cared About Me.

And Then I Got Asked: If I
Thought That He'd Go Above And Beyond For Me Like I Always Did For Him

I Responded No.

That Right There Was My Epiphany Moment.

So My Friends Made Me Look At Myself And I Was Looking Crazy Out Here...Then I Revealed To Them I Haven't Gone On A Date For The Past 2 Years...And That I'm Not Talking To ANY Man Right Now, Not ONE. The Most I'd Do Is Give A Guy My Number Andddd Text Them Maybe Once Or Twice B4 Going Mia (And I've Even Stopped Doing That Because Its Depressing). I Told Them That The Thought Of Talking To A New Person Disgusts Me And That I Don't Think I Ever Will, O You Know That Drove Them Insane.

So All Of Them Suggested That I Should Go Out With A New Guy So I Could Get Back Into The Swing Of Things. I Don't See How Dating Will Help Because I Don't Wanna Scare Men Off With All The Baggage I Got But Mkay. One Of My Friends Even Suggested A Friend She Had Who She Thought Wud Be A Good Match For Me...She Sent Him My Pic, He Sent His.....Just Ughhhhhhh, I Honestly Dont Wanna Try But Maybe Those Girls Know What They Were Talking About.

I Dunno, I Really Am At A Loss...Till This Day I Still Cry Over My Ex...Laid In Bed For 2 Hours This Morning Just Sobbing, Like Really? I Just Can't Anymore.

You Ever Gave Your Everything To Someone Only 2 Find Out The Everything You Gave Didn't Mean Sh*t To Them?

*Sigh* Only God Can Help Me....But When Is This Help Gonna Come Around?