The Tantalizer

I glance your way, and get locked into your gaze. Those eyes, that smell, I know them very well.




Thump, Thump, Thump. It pounds  and I'm consumed into the world of you.

Solo Dolo

Lately I've been feeling my happiest when alone. I dont want to feel this way and sometimes I feel as if I'm abandoning my boyfriend but I just want to be left alone. A part of me feels like he'll eventually get tired of my cold shoulder, but another part of me feels like he won't even notice. :-(


Why am I distant from my significant other? Damned if i know. But ....smh sometimes I get annoyed when we speak on the phone. When I'm near him i adore him, but when we go days without seeing each other I get super annoyed. Just his voice coming through my phone annoys me to the core sometimes. Why do I feel  like that?

And little things he does, or doesn't do are beginning to urk me but he is the most kindest and faithful  guy that ive ever been with so what is the problem?  Is it that I'm beginning to feel as if I'am settling?

I don't feel as if I'm settling but little stuff like taking your girlfriend out or suprising her....those moments are rare. Outings happen, what.....once every other month? All he's into is staying home and talking about what he wants us to do.......he doesn't follow through.



I mean i love him and i know relationships are not about going out and spending money but.....staying home gets kinda old too. Am i weird people? I mean girls like to be spoiled here and there. Does that make me a gold digger? Ive been in relationships before and going out was standard but if i say that to my  boyfriend I feel like i'd be slapping him in the face and challenging his manhood. He does not get it. I hope i don't get bored of  him. I feel so bad.



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Nextttttt Chapter!

*sigh* Im just at a point where I'm ready for college to be over and done with. Its getting old and I'm so ready to start my career. Its taking far too long and I'm getting far too old for this. I mean if we were to rewind to me at 19 and have me predict where I would be at 2*cough* this would not where I would see myself. I mean at this age I wouldnt have minded being married and three years deep into my career. I could possibly be contemplating a child within the next two years and probably have an apartment with my honey....but I guess things never work out the way we want them to.

Thats the funny thing about life tho. Things are always unexpected and to get to where we need to be its like we are always forced to take a hard road. Sometimes I stop and compare my life to that of my successful friends and I just cant help but to wonder where the hell I went wrong.

Its also funny because once you get one aspect of your life in order then another part of your life goes haywire. Right now my love life is pretty much in tact which is great but this no career thing is killer. I wish there cud be a point in my life where I'm in love and I'm where I want to be financially. That would be so awesome, but with the way things are looking so bleak right now that seems like just a dream.

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Moving on?

Guys I'm so scared to get into a relationship but I think I finally found the one.... I mean he was always around the whole time. I feel like I've throughly enjoyed my summer and I'm ready for some stability. I did the whole single thing and being liberated its cool and all but it gets boring after a while. Sick of kissing so many frogs and I'm tired of letting one person break my heart over anddd over. In september I finally start student teaching and what is hopefully my last semester in school. I just finally want to be happy (since I've literally been fighting hapiness).

What i fear the most is for my new relationship to fail because it would really put me in a tough position but I guess thats the chance people take with love......it may not always work. I'm over the whole love thing but if I dont take this gamble then I think I will always wonder "what if".

Im not jumping into anything as yet but the mere fact that I'm even contemplating settling down again is major.

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