November 06, 2012
Lately I've been feeling my happiest when alone. I dont want to feel this way and sometimes I feel as if I'm abandoning my boyfriend but I just want to be left alone. A part of me feels like he'll eventually get tired of my cold shoulder, but another part of me feels like he won't even notice. :-(
Why am I distant from my significant other? Damned if i know. But ....smh sometimes I get annoyed when we speak on the phone. When I'm near him i adore him, but when we go days without seeing each other I get super annoyed. Just his voice coming through my phone annoys me to the core sometimes. Why do I feel like that?
And little things he does, or doesn't do are beginning to urk me but he is the most kindest and faithful guy that ive ever been with so what is the problem? Is it that I'm beginning to feel as if I'am settling?
I don't feel as if I'm settling but little stuff like taking your girlfriend out or suprising her....those moments are rare. Outings happen, what.....once every other month? All he's into is staying home and talking about what he wants us to do.......he doesn't follow through.
I mean i love him and i know relationships are not about going out and spending money but.....staying home gets kinda old too. Am i weird people? I mean girls like to be spoiled here and there. Does that make me a gold digger? Ive been in relationships before and going out was standard but if i say that to my boyfriend I feel like i'd be slapping him in the face and challenging his manhood. He does not get it. I hope i don't get bored of him. I feel so bad.
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