May 16, 2009

Swine Flu Paranoia

People I'm Ubber Paranoid. I'm Supposedly In The City/Borough Where This Swine Flu Stuff Is Running Rampant (Queens). I Was Pretty Confident That I Was Safe From Getting This Stuff Cuz Lets Face It I Think My Antibodies Are Pretty Strong...Lol. Sooo Yea I'm Hanging Around The House Today Thinking I
Was Alone The Whole Day And At About Two O Clock In The Afternoon My Older Brother Emerges Out Of His Room Like A Zombie And Walks Past My Room (The Door Was Wide Open). First I Was Scared Cuz Heck I Was Singing And Dancing All Over The House And Buggin Out Like I Was Beyonce Or Something, But Then I Was Scared Cuz He Looked Sick (I Mean Bad Sick). The Guy Had On A Bath Robe, A Mug Filled With (Im Guessing) Tea, And A Hacking Cough. So I Spoke To The Zombie Reluctantly...
Me: Hey How's It Going?
Him: Cool *Cough, Cough* (You Could Hear The Flem On His Chest)
Me: Errr Ummm ...You Got A Cold? Must Be The Swine Flu (I Said Jokingly, But Dead Serious Getting Scared In The Back Of My Mind).
Him: Oink, Oink
Me: Haha (But Thinking To Myself RUNNNNNN And LOCK THE DOOR)
So He Goes Downstairs And I Quickly, But Not Too Obviously Lock My Bedroom Door. Now Im Sitting Here With My Throat Feeling A Little Dry....WTF?!?! Is This In My Head? My Brother Is A Teacher And Deals With Little Children Mongrels EVERYDAY...What If He Caught It From One Of Them And Brought That Ish Home?!? I Swear If I Get Swine Flu Me And His Quarantined Behind Will Be Fighting. LMAO. *Does The Rock Eye Brow Lift*
An Hour Later He Knocked On My Door And Asked Me To Lend Him Money To Buy Medicine, I Said I Had None. Then I Asked....
Me: Why Are You Sick In The Summer Time?
Him: *Sniffs* I Dunno There's A Flu Going Around
Me: (In My Head)

May 04, 2009

Nigga Moment

What's A Nigger Moment?

It's A Moment When Ignorance Overwhelms The Mind Of An Other Wise Logical Man

Causing Him To React In An Illogical, Self Destructive Manner....(I.E. Like A Nigger).

Nigger Moments Are Unpredictable But They All End Up Bad.

"Wat You Gonna Do NIGAAHHHHH???!!!???"

LMAO ....I Love The Boondocks Cartoon They Gave On The Cartoon Network...This Episode To Me Was CLASSIC! Have You Guys Ever Had Nigger Moments? Moments Where You Were Just Backed Into A Corner Due To The Ignorance Of Someone Else And Had To Get Crazy And Let Loose The Inner Nigger? I'm Guilty....Hehe.

May 02, 2009

I'm Not My Damn Hair....Dammit

Sooooo....I Have Yet To Do A Post About Hair And I've Decided Now Is The Time. Lately I've Been Hooked On Youtube Videos....But Not Any Old Videos, I'm Talking About Videos With My Natural Haired Sistas. I Can Honestly Say That I'm Drawn Into And Captivated By Natural Hair. Natural Hair Is So Beautiful And Versatile And I Miss My Natural Hair. More Recently Ive Found Myself Cursing The Day That I Begged My Mom For That Creamy Hair Crack...But That's A Whole Other

Some Of You May Know That When Going Natural And Growing Out Your Hair (Aka Transitioning) Your Hair Will Have Two Textures Since You Are No Longer Getting A Relaxer Every 3 Months (Or Whatever The Case Is). Towards Your Scalp (Closer To Your Roots) You Will Have A More Natural Texture And Then A Demarcation Line (Where The Natural Hair And Your Relaxed Hair Meet). From What I've Heard If You Don't Properly Take Care Of Your Hair When Transitioning Then It Will Be More Prone To Breakage...So Some People ( Sometimes To Avoid Breakage) Do The Big Chop. What The Big Chop Does Is To Allow Someone To Cut Off Their Relaxed Ends Which Rids The Risk Of Breakage At The Demarcation Line.

Anyways So I Was Talking To My Male Friend And Out The Blue For No Reason At All I Said "I'm Going To Cut Off My Hair So I Can Go Natural". My Friend Took Extra Long And Gave Me The Ill Face Like "Why?". I Told Him To Go Natural You Have To Cut Your Hair, And He Said "Your Boyfriend Would Leave You"......And I'm Like WHATTT?!? What In The Gosh Darn, High Horse, Billy Bob Did You Just Say?!?!

"Your Boyfriend Would Leave".........Ladies You Know I Was Giving Him This Face:

And Me Being Me I HAD To Find Out WHY This Would Come Out Of A Person's Mouth. I Mean Hair Doesn't Make A Person And Dammit Even If It Did There Is So Much Weave Out There I Could Be A New Person Everyday If I Was Caking To That Level.

So I Asked My Dear Friend To Break Down His Reasoning To Me Because I Just HAD To Hear This. I Mean WTH? I Asked My Friend Hypothetical Questions Like " If You Had A Girlfriend And She Decided To Go Natural Cutting Off All Her Hair...What Would You Do?" He Said "I'd Leave". Ladies He Got A Look Like This :

And Then I Said "Ummmmm Imagine You Have Been With This Girl For Two Years And This Is Something She Wants.... You Would Still Leave?"

He Said " Well It Depends On How Much I Like Her....If We Argue Every Other Day And She Cuts Her Hair Then She Can Go....But If We Have Some Type Of Strong Connection And I Feel Things Are Good With Us Then She Can Stay."

I'm Sorry (And If You Are Reading This Boo.... Luv Ya Like A Little Brother) But This Is SHALLLLLOOW!!!! If You Leave A Girl Because She Cut Her Hair Then You Never Loved Her At All... PERIOD!

So I Tell Him..." Ya Know Hair Grows Back Right?" And He Says "Yea But It Takes Forever And I Like When I Can Run My Fingers Through A Girls Hair" SMHHHHHH......Wattttttttt????!!!?????

So He Picked A Pretty Girl We Both Knew (Who Has Alot Of Hair) As An Example And He Said "If She Cut Her Hair I Wouldn't Be As Attracted To Her As I Am Now" And In My Head I Was Thinking PUHLEASE Switch Up The Mentality!!!!!!!

Fine I Understand The Fact That He Wants A Girl With Hair And That's All Good But If Your Girl Had Hair And Decided To Cut It Off (Or God Forbid) Got Cancer ....That's It? So If I Have No Hair Then I Have To Pack My Bags And Get Tha Steppin? SMDH. So Let's Say I'm Your Girl And I Get Into A Car Accident And My Face Gets Scarred Up Or I Get A Burn On My Face ....Then That's It? What You Are Telling Me Is That You Are All Caught Up In Vanity And Image....Beauty Fades, Its Whats On The Inside That Counts.

So I Asked My Boyfriend What His Thoughts Were. He Did Think It Was A Funny Thing And He Said Yea He'd Leave (You Know In My Head He Was Getting One Of The Faces Above) But He Was Joking. He Said That He Wouldn't Want Me To Do It (And He'd Try To Stop Me) But If I Went Through With It Then He'd Just Deal. He Also Said If I Cut My Hair He Would Crack On Me Everyday Until My Hair Grew Back (Fair Enough I Guess). Then I Asked Him How He Felt About Natural Hair And He Seemed To Like The Whole Idea. Ho Hum..... So For Now I Will Continue To Live On The Creamy White Crack....But Who Knows ....One Of These Days I Will Be Right Up There With Erykah Badu Looking Flyyyyy And Fantabulous.