Thinking

Some times I feel so alone in all of my thoughts but in this place I find solace, quiet, and I fear nothing except those thoughts.

Do I let these thoughts consume me and over rule me? Its hard not to when there are certain questions embedded in me and that won't go away.

So here I sit, my thoughts and all waiting for that second shoe to hit the floor.

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Bye

Good bye Ohio state booski.....was nice to finally meet a decent guy, even if only for a week.

:-(  he gave me his sweater guys....so sad!

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Guess I'll see you next life time...

Blog family, you ever think you met the right person but at the wrong point in your lives?

I met A guy through my best friend and he's ambitious, plays football, wants to be a teacher like I do, nice build, awesome personality, but there's one problem.....

He lives in Ohio on campus and I live in NY....I can't win for losing. Smdh.

The past week I've been spending whatever time I had with him before he goes away but damn...this can't be it! What a cruel joke that life is playing on me.

Damn.

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Weave Wonder

Lol. This One Cracks Me Up But I Never Posted Because School Has Taken Over My Social Life.

So I Met This Dude....He's A Chill, Laid Back Type Of Guy. I Met Him We Decide To Go On A Date And Whatnot...He Was A Gentleman, Didn't Lean In For A Kiss Or Anything Like That On The First Date So That Was Kool.....Now Fast Forward A Month Later We Never Went Out On A Second Date But We Continued Texting Here And There.

Um One Day Dude Randomly Texts Me Do You Wear Weaves? I Mean I Responded Honestly, No Point In Giving Him False Advertisement Right? I Said Yes I Wear Weaves From Time To Time For Styling Purposes But I'm Def Not Bald Headed (Now Ladies This Is Why THE FUCK I GET MAD AT MYSELF AS A FEMALE!). So Then He Texts Oh I Can't Tell You Look Like You Have Nice Hair.... (NIGGA WHAT?). Then He Continues: Oh To Be Honest With You I Prefer A Woman Who Is Au Naturale So I Can Run My Fingers Through Her Hair...(No, No....NIGGA WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST TEXT?!?)

AND THIS IS WHY I'M MAD AT MYSELF......You Have A Job With No Real Income, On The First Date You Told Me You Have A Suspended License, You Told Me You Need Weed To Function, You Don't Have A Car (Nigga You Got Picked Up At Your House By Me), You Don't Go To School, And Surprise Surprise You Live With Your Mama! Who.....(Wait Let Me Put This All In Capital Letters) WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ON YOUR DAMN HIGH HORSE THAT YOU CAN'T ACCEPT MY WEAVE THAT IIIIIIIIIII PAY FOR?!!!???

I Didn't Say Anything About Your "Weed Habit" That You Need On A Daily Basis In Order To Function As Being Unattractive But Yea It's Not Cute Sweetie.

See My Point Is...Sometimes Females Settle And It Is So Sad Cause These Assholes Are Definitely Are Not Willing To Settle For Us And If They Are They Voice Their Unhappiness. I Think His Negatives Are Alot More Heavier Than My Damn Weave. And There My Dumb Ass Was....I Was Actually Giving This Scum Bucket The Time Of Day...Like O I Can Get Past The Weed, No Car, No License......NOOOO NOOOO NOOOOOO....NO MORE SETTLING! Get Your Life Together Little Boy...You Would Be Lucky If My Unbeweavable Ass Took You Serious. Tuh!

Random Questions

1. Why Do Smart People Make Such DUMB Decisions?




2. I Think I'm A Swell Gal....So Where Is The Love Of My Life At?




3. How Come Things Never Work Out In The Way That We Pictured It In Our Heads?




4. Why Date A "Bad Boy" When I Already Know He's "BAD"?




5. Why Do People In Committed Relationships Cheat.....Karma Is A B*tch, Keep Playing Nigga




6. WHY THE HELL IS COLLEGE SO DRAINING?




7. Can You Be In Love With Three Different People For Different Reasons?




8. Why Do Ex's Always Come Back...What The Fudge DO I Have To Do Pour Holy Water On Your Ass?




9. Why Do I No Longer Believe In The Idea Of Settling Down




10. Why Do I Know SO Many Bi Polar People....Deadass.

Get it right, Get it tight

So I'm working on getting abs and this ish is harder than it seems. This is a recent picture I took. I mean this is the only place I could think of to post progress besides Facebook so blogger it is. How I plan to make progress ....hmm

Well first off I gym at least 2 times a week but my eating habits need improvement. I usually sleep which means I think it's ok to eat at all hours if the night...no Bueno.

The changes i want to make are as follows :

No eating less than an hour before bed.

up my water intake.

No fast food (only allowed snack wraps from McDonalds)

Any type of rice being eaten I can only eat a fist portion.

Stay away from fried foods.

I'm trying to build a healthier me, hopefully I have the will power to get my summer body.



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Black Barbie

See We Finally Have Our Black Princess, A Representation Of Me.

Brown, Caramel, Or Darkskinned .....Usually On The Out And Never In. I Look In The Mirror And I Never Could See Those Baby Blues Or Blond Hair.

I Washed My Skin As A Child Hoping This Dark Tint Would Go Away But This Overbearing Complexioned Seemed Like It Was Here To Stay. Soap And Water Couldnt Do The Trick.
Why Am I So Dark, Why Do I Have To Look Like This?

But Wait...Here Is A Doll That Looks Similar To Me...She's Not So Bad, A Natural Beauty.



[<3 That The Younger Generation (And Even I As An Adult) Get To See A Black American Princess. Not Only That But Princess Tianna Is Gorgeous.]

I hate social networks :-(

You know that moment in time you happen to come across/stalk your ex boyfriends Facebook page and you realized they've moved on... That's a stab in the chest.

And its painful not even because you want them back but because they moved on before you did when they made your relationship so difficult.

I mean when you see happy pictures and such of him and his new lady you can't help but to wonder "where did I go wrong?" Why didn't I match up to this person? 

But I click X. And get off the page... I gotta move on with my life, this is ridiculous.



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