October 28, 2009

When Im Lovin U...Y Wud U Wanna Break Up?

I Have No Words...I Don't Understand Life On A Whole Right Now. I Feel Like An Empty Shell Walking The Streets. Im Hurt......I Don't Know How Many Times I Said This Phrase Within The Past 2 Days But IM HURT. He Left Me, Said He Couldn't Handle The Fights And Now I Have To Deal With The Empty Lonely Nights. I Don't Know What To Do, Where To Go Or Who To Turn To.

He Broke Up With Me Before ....2 Months Ago....."Tell Me What To Change" I Asked Him...."Stay The Same" He Said. I Tried To Love Him....I Took All My Guards Down When I Took Him Back...Now Im Left ....Empty, Confused, Used, Overwhelmed With So Many Emotions. I Never Knew I Was So Emotional...When I Think About Moving Onto The Next Man I'm Nauseous...It Makes Me Want To Hurl Thinking About Investing Another 2 Years In My Life To Someone Who May Leave Me. NO ANOTHER MAN Isn't Even A Thought. So Many TEARS....So Much Pain And As I Type This I Sit Here Thinking Why Did I Lie To Myself? Why Did I Let It Carry On For So Long? Wasn't I Good Enough? Ur Leaving Me Because You Find Me Annoying?

Well What If We Spent More Than Once A Week Together.....What If You Asked Me What I Did Today....What If You Spent Time With Me Instead Of Clubbing Or Going To Weekend Outings With The Homies....What If You Held Me And Told Me How Much You Appreciated Me In Your Life.....What If You Took The Time To Make Me Smile Like I Tried To Do For You....What If You Took The Time To Know Me....What If You Came To My House To Just Watch A Flick With Me More Than Once Out Of The 2 Years I've Known You....WHAT IF YOU DID THOSE THINGS....

A Breakup Is Sick...We Go Through Many Cycles...One Second Im Fine And The Next Im On The Bed Curled Into A Ball, He's All I've Known....He Was My World.

I Know That I Will Get Over This Hurdle...But For Right Now Emotions Have The Best Of Me. He Told Me Maybe I Wasn't The Man He Needed And He May Have Been Right, But My Heart Refuses To Let Me Realize I Deserved Better. Relationships Are A Two Way Street And I Was In It Alone.

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